Happiness

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of places, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” 

-Albus Dumbledore

Ahh, had a long day today. Passport photos, salon, mall, nursery! But, you know what? I was happy today. Regardless of all the stress.

I’ve got to go back to the nursery tomorrow with my mother-in-law. She also feels like some new plants/flowers. 

It’s only 2 days to Valentine’s Day. I’ve got my man some cute things 😝 .

I must say I’m a little bit frustrated at the moment as my boyfriend & I own our own place. But, we’re sleeping at his parents house constantly. It’s really bugging me. But anyway. That’s the way the cookie crumbles 🍪 .

Have a good night, God bless 🙌 .

💕AshKaay 

We can’t make everyone happy

Like the title says; we can’t make everyone happy. Which is completely 100% true.

I know how it feels when you try so hard for someone to be happy with what you’ve done/achieved/said, etc. and they aren’t. It’s a crappy feeling.

But it’s reality, not everyone is going to be happy with us all the time. So why do we get so worked up when we can’t make these people happy and content? It’s because we try so hard. We try hard for acceptance. To prove to them we are ‘normal’. 

It might not be that way for everyone but I know it is for me. 

But you know what, we can’t make everyone happy, try & if it fails then at least you know that you put in the effort from your side to try. 

Remember you can’t make everyone happy, you’re not a Nutella jar 😛 .

I’ve taken my tablets so if this post isn’t 100%, blame it on them not me 😂 .

Chin up beauties,

💕AshKaay 

Sick of it

Sick of crying,
Tired of trying,
Yes, I’m smiling.                            ..but inside I’m dying.

I can’t even explain. There’s no words to describe how I feel. None at all. Nada, nix, nothing.

I can’t take all this shit in my life no more. I’m suicidal, depressed, upset.. Constantly. 

..and no one understands. Yes people might understand parts of what I’m going through but no one can understand fully.

I’m done. Done trying. Done hoping. Done coping. Just done!

I’ve finally cracked. And it doesn’t look like these peices are fitting back together anytime soon.

😞AshKaay 

Peckish?

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 😂

Aaah! Am I the only one that gets hungry at night? Just before I’m about to doze off, I feel the need to get up & sneak to the fridge & grab anything that catches my eye.

Last night it was milk tart. 🙊

I am adement that my tablets make me do it. Can this be a side effect of my tablets?

I am on a diet & I’m breaking it at night! It’s so bloody irritating.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you get round it? 🍭🍪🍫

Quick quote:

“Everyday may not be good, but there is always something good in everyday!”

💕AshKaay 

Happy?

Does anyone know that feeling when you think you’re happy but there’s that one thing on the back of your mind?

I have that. I’m happy but I can’t stop thinking about things that have happened in the past. I honestly don’t know how to feel.

I need to vent. arghhh! Why can’t things in my life & head just be normal for once. Why can’t I have normal thoughts & be in a normal mood, not stuck in between.

I’ve been reading my book. It’s called “prayer box.” It’s actually turning out quite a good novel.

Anyway, I’m enjoying this book. Time to get my read onnnn! 📖

Quick quote:

“Happiness isn’t getting what you want. But appreciating what you have.” 

Church

I went to church today. Yes, me. Church. That has over 100 people. I didn’t even feel the need to take a rivotril! I took notes & sang the hymns. 

To be honest I’m quite proud of myself.

I’ve got a killer headache & didn’t sleep very well last night but I feel so alive today. More than I’ve felt in a long time! I think the Holy Spirit is working within me 🙏.

Incase you haven’t heard this today:

1. You’re beautiful 👸👱
2. You’re loved 💗
3. You’re needed 👥
4. You’re alive for a reason 👣
5. You’re stronger than you think 💪
6. You’re going to get through this 🙏
7. I’m glad you’re still alive 😀
8. Don’t give up 🌟
9. Be positive 👍
10. I care 👯👬

Nap time 😴

💕AshKaay 

People always ask me

People always ask me why I lift people up & how I find it within myself to always think of others first when I’m depressed or down myself. 

The reason I do is because people need it & when people are down I don’t want them to feel the way I do. 

I live by this.. JOY = Jesus first, Yourself last, Others in between. 

I hope everyone has a great day, I am going out of my comfort zone & going to the mall. Praying that my social anxiety disorder will settle down & no panic attacks today.

💕AshKaay

lift up

Just a little bit of a lift up.

I have been severely depressed for the last few days. But, here’s some quotes to help remember who you belong to & what he is capable of.

💕AshKaay 

cheer up!

So, I went to the optometrist today. Which I hate doing.

I was born with a lazy eye & wore glasses most of my life. A few years ago my vision was clear enough for me not to wear them.

The optician told me today that I need to wear glasses again! Oh so effing wonderful.

I’ve always felt insecure wearing glasses but you know what.. I’m going to try & embrace the new AshKaay with glasses! 

Everyone needs cheering up now & again & I have seen some really depressed posts lately so here’s to all the women who feel down, depressed, defeated or any other crappy emotion:

If you get called a bitch, don’t worry we all are, B-eautiful; I-ntelligent; T-alented; C-harming & H-ot 🌻

To all you women who think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero. It’s society who’s ugly not you! 👸

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need the acceptance of others. You need to accept yourself. Sometimes it’s hard, but try. Keep pushing to find your own beauty!

Quick quote:

“If you’re always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you are!” 

Remember to smile 😊

AshKaay 💕

Ask yourself this,

Are you living or just existing? 

At the moment, I’m stuck in the middle of the two. On one hand I’m living but on the other I’m just a girl on this earth.

Existing: I’m good at just existing as it requires hardly anything to do. I work, sleep, don’t sleep, eat & bath. Same things over & over. I’m just the norm!

But Living I am also doing, I’m writing a blog, trying to be positive & trying to do things out of my little bubble (comfort zone). 

So are YOU living or just existing? 

-AshKaay