Category Archives: New year

Do you want to be bipolar?

Do you want to be bipolar?

Because I’ll happily swap.

You go around saying you are,

With no proof,

None at all.

Pretending to be bipolar isn’t fair,

It just proves that you don’t care.

To be bipolar is quite shit,

So don’t be all pathetic and have no whit.

I can’t believe that you would be so sly,

When there’s bipolar people out there wanting to die. 

This is from me, AshKaay,

So have your own life and go your own way.

…goodnight REAL fellow bipolar sufferers 💕

Tablets 

Does every bipolar person get to that stage where they can’t be bothered to take their pills. Or think they’ll do better without them?

Because I’m at that stage. Taking my tablets makes me feel sick. I absolutely despise taking them. They make me feel like an out cast, not normal, different. And yes it’s good to be different but not in this way. 

Taking my tablets in front of friends is horrifying. Going out to a club is horrifying, people ask, “why aren’t you drinking.” I say I don’t feel like it but they try & force you to. Then you end up telling them the whole story. “Because I take tabs,” “why?” “I’m bipolar” & so on & so forth. 

Quick quote: 

“Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.” -Anonymous 

💕AshKaay

Exercise?

so I haven’t been doing any exercise lately & I have put on quite a bit of weight from not doing so & because of my tabs.

I’d just like to know what exercise other bipolar people do, that’s easy & not so time consuming! 

I know that I am lethargic & have literally no energy, unless I live on energy drinks 🙈, so I don’t think I could manage with heavy exercise at the moment. 

I mostly want to lose weight on my tummy & thighs. Anyone have any ideas? 

💕AshKaay

Dad

“A daddy isn’t defined as the man who makes the child, but rather a man who extends his hands and time to help raise the child and gives his heart and love to the child. BLOOD doesn’t always make you a DADDY. Being a daddy comes from the heart. Any fool can make a baby, it takes a man to raise a child”

My dad is amazing, he is always there for me. He is my dad, not my biological father but my dad!

He means more to me than the asshole, who was involved in bringing me into the world, ever will.

No matter what the circumstance he is there whenever I need him. My mum & I both have bipolar & I know it takes its tole on him but, he has always stuck by both of us & I know he always will.

My mum & dad are the only two people in my family who haven’t let me down & I love them more each & everyday for it.

My dad may not be my biological father but he is my DAD & always will be. 



💕AshKaay 

Poem

I haven’t posted in a while so here’s a poem I wrote:


You don’t know how it feels

to be an outcast
Pushed aside as if an alien

You don’t know how it feels
To have to live with this
The constant stigma

You don’t know how it feels 
To be called names
You’re ‘normal’

You don’t know how it feels
To have you’re mind spinning constantly
With no control

You don’t know how it feels
When people don’t understand 
Don’t try to or want to

You don’t know how it feels.

💕AshKaay 

Today

“Bipolar disorder is like a thief. 
It steals and never gives back.”

I really feel shitty. My boyfriend goes to work in Zimbabwe for 10 days on Wednesday. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.

Luckily I see my psychologist on Thursday so it’s not so bad. 

I’m tired constantly and I’m so over it right now. I’ve been good – haven’t been sleeping in the day. But, I think today I deserve a nap! 

I just this second got a whatsapp from my mother in law asking if I want to go pick out a bath & lots of new things for the house we are building on the farm. I can’t turn that down cause I love interior decorating. But there’s always a catch. Lunch with our pastor & his wife!

Any prayers for no panic attacks would be greatly appreciated.

Quick quote:

“He who kneels before God, can stand before anyone.” 

Have a good day,

💕AshKaay