Category Archives: Prayer


So, I had blood tests done over a month ago, to test whether my thyroid was working properly. I only got the results now. I have an under active thyroid. What great effing news 😡.

So now I’m going to have to go on more tables.. Awesome 😓

When I was diagnosed with bipolar, I was a size 4 to 6, two years on these tablets and I’m now a size 16! 

I know it’s the tablets making me gain weight because my routine has not changed at all. 

I just hope these bloody thyroid tablets work and help me lose weight, otherwise I’m going to demand the weight loss pill in June when I see this new silly psychiatrist. 

Vent, vent & vent. 

Quick quote:

“Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence & absence to value presence.”



“Bipolar disorder is like a thief. 
It steals and never gives back.”

I really feel shitty. My boyfriend goes to work in Zimbabwe for 10 days on Wednesday. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.

Luckily I see my psychologist on Thursday so it’s not so bad. 

I’m tired constantly and I’m so over it right now. I’ve been good – haven’t been sleeping in the day. But, I think today I deserve a nap! 

I just this second got a whatsapp from my mother in law asking if I want to go pick out a bath & lots of new things for the house we are building on the farm. I can’t turn that down cause I love interior decorating. But there’s always a catch. Lunch with our pastor & his wife!

Any prayers for no panic attacks would be greatly appreciated.

Quick quote:

“He who kneels before God, can stand before anyone.” 

Have a good day,


Born again! 🙏

So, I used to be amazingly dedicated to God & my bible.

But I lost my way over the past couple of years with all the stress & handling the diagnosis. I thought God hated me.

I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for God. He is always working behind the scenes in my life, everyone’s life!

So today after going to church for the past couple of months & watching Christian programmes on the tv. 

I gave my life to the Lord! I am a born again Christian! 🙌

Praise the Lord!

“Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” Hebrews 13:5

Long day, tired!

It’s been a long day. Especially after this morning with my bodily aches & shitty side effects that had tears streaming down my face. 

We left the house at 12 & drove to Durban (2 hours away). Went to about 5 shops in all different places. Then, we went clothes shopping.

Yes. All of this, after hardly any sleep & being in intense pain.

Then we waited at the airport for an hour for my father-in-law. We are now on our way home & have about another 30 minutes to get home.

But, then it’s to unpack everything.

I’m dreading taking these shitty sleeping tablets with the horrible side effects. I’m actually scared to wake up tomorrow morning or even during the night because I know how much pain I’ll be in!

But all I can say to myself is “chin up AshKaay” 

Goodnight lovelys! 

Thank you Lord!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for all the people on WordPress that helped me get through last night. They really helped me.

I pray that you bless all of those people. Thank you for leading me to WordPress. Thank you for leading me to people who understand what I’m going through and who can help me.

I pray that this year all of us sufferers and everyone all over the world that they have a blessed year. 


Thank you for all the support last night to the people who commented with amazing advice. I really feel understood and I feel like I fit in!