Category Archives: Understand

Thyroid 

So, I had blood tests done over a month ago, to test whether my thyroid was working properly. I only got the results now. I have an under active thyroid. What great effing news 😡.

So now I’m going to have to go on more tables.. Awesome 😓

When I was diagnosed with bipolar, I was a size 4 to 6, two years on these tablets and I’m now a size 16! 

I know it’s the tablets making me gain weight because my routine has not changed at all. 

I just hope these bloody thyroid tablets work and help me lose weight, otherwise I’m going to demand the weight loss pill in June when I see this new silly psychiatrist. 

Vent, vent & vent. 

Quick quote:

“Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence & absence to value presence.”

💕AshKaay

Happiness 

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of places, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” 

-Albus Dumbledore


Ahh, had a long day today. Passport photos, salon, mall, nursery! But, you know what? I was happy today. Regardless of all the stress.

I’ve got to go back to the nursery tomorrow with my mother-in-law. She also feels like some new plants/flowers. 

It’s only 2 days to Valentine’s Day. I’ve got my man some cute things 😝 .

I must say I’m a little bit frustrated at the moment as my boyfriend & I own our own place. But, we’re sleeping at his parents house constantly. It’s really bugging me. But anyway. That’s the way the cookie crumbles 🍪 .

Have a good night, God bless 🙌 .

💕AshKaay 

I’m that girl

I’m that girl that talks others out of suicide, but has a hard time doing it for herself. She truthfully assures them how beautiful, lovely, wonderful and precious they all are. Because she doesn’t want them to feel the same way she does; the opposite. 

I’m the girl that puts on a smile even when I’m dying inside. I try my best to make everyone smile. Regardless of my own feelings or emotions. 

Making others happy makes me feel a little bit better inside, it makes me feel like I’m doing something good, instead of always doing bad. Being bad or looking bad. 

I will admit it, I have no friends. I have trouble letting people get close enough to be my friend. I wish I had friends. I used to but not anymore.

I’m so low and depressed at the moment. I feel like my insides are falling apart. I just need a person to talk to personally… Anyone out there?

cheer up!

So, I went to the optometrist today. Which I hate doing.

I was born with a lazy eye & wore glasses most of my life. A few years ago my vision was clear enough for me not to wear them.

The optician told me today that I need to wear glasses again! Oh so effing wonderful.

I’ve always felt insecure wearing glasses but you know what.. I’m going to try & embrace the new AshKaay with glasses! 

Everyone needs cheering up now & again & I have seen some really depressed posts lately so here’s to all the women who feel down, depressed, defeated or any other crappy emotion:

If you get called a bitch, don’t worry we all are, B-eautiful; I-ntelligent; T-alented; C-harming & H-ot 🌻

To all you women who think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero. It’s society who’s ugly not you! 👸

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need the acceptance of others. You need to accept yourself. Sometimes it’s hard, but try. Keep pushing to find your own beauty!

Quick quote:

“If you’re always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you are!” 

Remember to smile 😊

AshKaay 💕

Phycologist

So I went to see my phycologist today & for once it was actually a great session. I didn’t get upset or feel like crap.

I’m really depressed at the moment but I felt happy to see her because I got her some Christmas prezzies – she liked them.

I’ve just taken my night time pills & I’m feeling really woozy! Think it’s time for bed soon! 

Quick quote:

“Never quit, if you stumble get back up. What happened yesterday no longer matters. Today is another day so get back on track & move closer to your dreams & goals. You CAN do it!”

understand!

I like it when it rains. Because I feel like the weather knows that I am crying inside, and it tried to show me that I’m not the only one.
T.Ariana

 You wish people just understood that little bit more? Me too! I want everything to be understood easily! But it’s not. But I will keep trying to help people understand.

Seeing my psychologist today, new meds. Yaay! 😞

Have a nice day 🌞

-AshKaay