Let me just say that I’ve always made friends with all the wrong types of people. All the low people that believe they are the little rebels & are so “cool.”
When I was 13 I was going out to clubs and getting absolutely hammered and mortal, (every weekend).
When I was about 14 I turned to weed & cigarettes. I was smoking both a helluva lot every day.
I met my boyfriend 5 days after I turned 15, that’s when I stopped smoking the weed.
A year passed and all my episodes stayed. I was put into hospital, (the bloody metal ward). There I met a girl who was messed up. She wasn’t bipolar but abused herself.
When we got out of hospital we bought weed and were smoking it on a daily basis. After a few months I couldn’t be friends with her anymore. The weed was effing me up!
This is what would happen:
- I’d smoke & when it wore off id drop into a deep depressive state. This made me smoke more.
- I stopped taking my tablets because I thought the weed was helping me.
- I started cutting & I believed it was ‘fun’ at the time. (I have scars.)
- I would spend all my money on weed & alcohol.
- I sniffed my tablets, because I thought they would give me a rush. All they did was burn my nose!
- It made me suicidal
I was stupid & immature.
I don’t smoke anything but cigarettes anymore. I hope no one does what I did because it put my treatment back about 6 months. When I stopped completely I was depressed to the point where I wouldn’t leave the house & just lie in bed all day & comfort eat.
“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor!” 🌊
Anyway, that’s all folks. Just felt like opening up!