Venting

I haven’t been on here in months.
Life is hard at the moment. I turned 18 not so long ago. There’s been lots of drama. But, then again nothing ever does come easy for me does it.
I’m constantly tired and depressed. At least I’ve lost weight. Not because I’ve been trying to, because I just forget to eat because I’m too busy crying in my room. All I seem to do is cry myself to sleep.
I wish I could just start life over again. Another chance. But no one gets that do they? I suppose smart ass people will say “you have a new chance every new day.” But you don’t forget what happened. Nothing is ever forgotten, it’s always there. Maybe not in your conscious. But boy do I know that it’s there. And things/memories just pop up at any time. Mostly the most inconvenient.
But, I think it’s time I start looking after myself. Start living for me. Seeing as though I’m newly single. After being in a serious relationship since my 15th birthday. I really don’t know anymore. I think I’m in a rut. But I’m going to get out – I am. I thought I’d hit rock bottom, but what I thought was rock bottom is nothing compared to what I’m going through now. “Hard” isn’t even the definition.
Aaaaaaah… Life. Isn’t it fun? And I’m only 18!

Anyway, just a vent.

AshKaay

3 thoughts on “Venting

  1. Ashkaay, I won’t say I know how you feel (even though in many ways I might) because no one ever really knows what another person is going through. However, I can relate to the rock bottom feelings. I am glad you are back here – I have missed you and am quite happy to see you back here. Vent all you want – it does help and you will find you get good feedback. Do try to get up and out a bit. Once I started doing that things seemed a little easier. Hugs, Lydia!

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