You’re still here in my dreams,
But I wish you weren’t.
Seeing that big smile in person was amazing,
No one can compare to you.
The only one who saved me,
The only one who took an interest.
Mum says I’ll see you again,
I hope I go to heaven too.
It will be 4 years that you have been gone in 10 days,
Please watch over me & help me get through it.
I love you for eternity,
Rest in paradise, Grandad 💕
~AshKaay
so I haven’t been doing any exercise lately & I have put on quite a bit of weight from not doing so & because of my tabs.
I’d just like to know what exercise other bipolar people do, that’s easy & not so time consuming!
I know that I am lethargic & have literally no energy, unless I live on energy drinks 🙈, so I don’t think I could manage with heavy exercise at the moment.
I mostly want to lose weight on my tummy & thighs. Anyone have any ideas?
💕AshKaay
“A daddy isn’t defined as the man who makes the child, but rather a man who extends his hands and time to help raise the child and gives his heart and love to the child. BLOOD doesn’t always make you a DADDY. Being a daddy comes from the heart. Any fool can make a baby, it takes a man to raise a child”
My dad is amazing, he is always there for me. He is my dad, not my biological father but my dad!
He means more to me than the asshole, who was involved in bringing me into the world, ever will.
No matter what the circumstance he is there whenever I need him. My mum & I both have bipolar & I know it takes its tole on him but, he has always stuck by both of us & I know he always will.
My mum & dad are the only two people in my family who haven’t let me down & I love them more each & everyday for it.
My dad may not be my biological father but he is my DAD & always will be.
💕AshKaay
“Bipolar disorder is like a thief.
It steals and never gives back.”
I really feel shitty. My boyfriend goes to work in Zimbabwe for 10 days on Wednesday. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.
Luckily I see my psychologist on Thursday so it’s not so bad.
I’m tired constantly and I’m so over it right now. I’ve been good – haven’t been sleeping in the day. But, I think today I deserve a nap!
I just this second got a whatsapp from my mother in law asking if I want to go pick out a bath & lots of new things for the house we are building on the farm. I can’t turn that down cause I love interior decorating. But there’s always a catch. Lunch with our pastor & his wife!
Any prayers for no panic attacks would be greatly appreciated.
Quick quote:
“He who kneels before God, can stand before anyone.”
Have a good day,
💕AshKaay
Like the title says; we can’t make everyone happy. Which is completely 100% true.
I know how it feels when you try so hard for someone to be happy with what you’ve done/achieved/said, etc. and they aren’t. It’s a crappy feeling.
But it’s reality, not everyone is going to be happy with us all the time. So why do we get so worked up when we can’t make these people happy and content? It’s because we try so hard. We try hard for acceptance. To prove to them we are ‘normal’.
It might not be that way for everyone but I know it is for me.
But you know what, we can’t make everyone happy, try & if it fails then at least you know that you put in the effort from your side to try.
Remember you can’t make everyone happy, you’re not a Nutella jar 😛 .
I’ve taken my tablets so if this post isn’t 100%, blame it on them not me 😂 .
Chin up beauties,
💕AshKaay
So I have my glasses. Feeling quite comfortable in them. I need to get out & show these babies off. Aaahaha!
My dad said they make me look “Smart.” The bugger, as if I’m not smart enough! 😂
Anyway, I’m taking one step at a time in my journey with God. I’m making it serious this time. I’m committing myself to the Lord. I might mess up, I’m guarenteed to sin, but I’m getting closer to our Heavenly Father.
I’m so happy at the moment, plus I slept well last night! Which is a first in a long time!
Quick quote:
“Bipolar can make you unstable, but you are still able. Never give up, never give in, you will find your peace again.” -G.E Laine
Hope everyone has a wonderful day, 💕AshKaay
So, I used to be amazingly dedicated to God & my bible.
But I lost my way over the past couple of years with all the stress & handling the diagnosis. I thought God hated me.
I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for God. He is always working behind the scenes in my life, everyone’s life!
So today after going to church for the past couple of months & watching Christian programmes on the tv.
I gave my life to the Lord! I am a born again Christian! 🙌
Praise the Lord!
“Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” Hebrews 13:5
I went to church today. Yes, me. Church. That has over 100 people. I didn’t even feel the need to take a rivotril! I took notes & sang the hymns.
To be honest I’m quite proud of myself.
I’ve got a killer headache & didn’t sleep very well last night but I feel so alive today. More than I’ve felt in a long time! I think the Holy Spirit is working within me 🙏.
Incase you haven’t heard this today:
Nap time 😴
💕AshKaay
People always ask me why I lift people up & how I find it within myself to always think of others first when I’m depressed or down myself.
The reason I do is because people need it & when people are down I don’t want them to feel the way I do.
I live by this.. JOY = Jesus first, Yourself last, Others in between.
I hope everyone has a great day, I am going out of my comfort zone & going to the mall. Praying that my social anxiety disorder will settle down & no panic attacks today.
💕AshKaay
Just a little bit of a lift up.
I have been severely depressed for the last few days. But, here’s some quotes to help remember who you belong to & what he is capable of.
💕AshKaay
ashkaay 