Happy?

Does anyone know that feeling when you think you’re happy but there’s that one thing on the back of your mind?

I have that. I’m happy but I can’t stop thinking about things that have happened in the past. I honestly don’t know how to feel.

I need to vent. arghhh! Why can’t things in my life & head just be normal for once. Why can’t I have normal thoughts & be in a normal mood, not stuck in between.

I’ve been reading my book. It’s called “prayer box.” It’s actually turning out quite a good novel.

Anyway, I’m enjoying this book. Time to get my read onnnn! đź“–

Quick quote:

“Happiness isn’t getting what you want. But appreciating what you have.” 

7 thoughts on “Happy?

  1. Breathe sweetheart and vent away. Your body is feeling that way for a reason. Things in your head and life are normal. For you.

    Your head and your life will never be normal for any person or abstract institution. Because your head and life were designed for one specific reason, one very special purpose, for one very detailed person. So your body tells you things in a little different way. You just haven’t learned to read your own body language yet.

    Find what is normal for you. Through all of the chaos, what are your recurring themes? What makes you roll your eyes and go, ‘that’s so me’? Drill in on your specifics that no one else can replicate.

    Take this post and your explanation of how you’re feeling.

    If your body is drawn to past events while you are happy, try using that positive emotion to stabilize yourself mentally and emotionally while delving into situations or issues of your past.

    Focus on the happy feeling. Feel it in your mind. Give it shape and give it definition. Take that shape and pull it out of your mind like soft goo that you can spread mentally over your body. As the goo goes on, softly your tension and pains pass away. Warming themselves until they disappear. The warmth is calm and comforting as it slowly spreads across your body.

    Once you reach a place in your mind and body, where you feel calm and happy and warm, so intensely all other feelings are drowned out, pull to the side of your mind those issues that your thoughts keep traveling to.

    Think through them. Think around them. What is the thought? Why is it unnerving to you? Why does it conflict with a happy feeling? Can you find a specific source for that irritation? On and on, keep drilling that spot for information until one of two things happens: you solve the problem or your sense of calm peace fades.

    I feel like this is your body telling you there are issues from your past to work through. The fact that it comes on while you are happy is indication to me that your mind is in a good place to resolve issues. Focused. Clear. Ready to work.

    Try not to fight your own emotions with insults. You feel the way you feel. Rather than pull yourself down for feeling something beyond your control, spend your energy finding comfort in that feeling, finding the reason why you are feeling that way, or finding ways to not need to feel that way in the future. Find what works for you.

    You have beauty and depth others can only swim the surfaces in. The trouble is you seem scared to explore your own depths, scared to embrace your darkness. You need to swim to your very deepest darkest places so people can see that there is not a single thing to hate about you. Not one single thing. Not one single thought, feeling, or touch. You are perfect just the way you are, in every moment you exist, from here to all eternity. Perfect in your perfect imperfection.

    Now we just need to get you believing that.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I never understood why the past haunted me like it did, but then I learned it tends to be a trait of bipolar. I know this happy yet something is picking away at you feeling so perfectly. I hope you can ease it. I always find books help me also. 🙂

    Like

  3. Story of my life, chica. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to this! It’s so easy to self-sabotage ourselves because we are afraid, but if it is any consolation to you, they’re only thoughts! It is capable for you to be happy, my love. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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